In My Feels...

You were everything a loving mother resembled. You made us laugh, you were caring, you stretched the little money you had to make sure we still had holiday spirit. We got to feel special like every kid did; we baked sugar cookies every Christmas, drank eggnog, and put up the tree together. We opened gifts, and watched every classic movie. You weren’t perfect, but you were my mom, and you made me feel like I had a real family. I was 8 when you and my dad split up, and you got your own apartment. A two bedroom for the four of us. I don’t even remember how I felt about you leaving my dad. I just knew it meant another new school, and making new friends. My Dad wanted to be close to us so secretly, he moved to the same complex. I remember one time you sent me over to my dads apartment to see if he would let me come inside. He cracked the door open, and told me to go away. I ran off, and started crying because I loved him, and I didn’t understand why he didn’t want to see me. You never had ...

You are enough, and nothing less then amazing. If he wants to leave.. let him go

“The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.” - Oscar Wilde They say the truth can set you free. It feels so liberal to speak your mind all the time, and know that everything your're saying comes from a place of unforgivable honesty. One thing I learned about the truth is it has no boundaries. Because it lives with no limitations, the effects it may have on someone may be more damaging then we expect. Of course being honest or " keeping it real" is the most highly respected lifestyle anyone can embody. I know I always felt betrayed when I found out I was lied too, even if it was a little white lie! But is lying really a crime? Well, Just to play devils advocate many might feel like lying protects someone mentally, and emotionally. Sometimes hearing one "keep it so real" can be more damaging to us then we expect. so is it always a great idea to keep it real? I always said all I ever wanted in my relationships was honesty. "Be real with me." "Te...

because I am imperfectly human.. because I embrace being emotional.. because I choose to heal In my feels because I am imperfectly human.. waiting to be seen.

I remember the first time I put my pen to a paper, and decided to express myself. I was in the 4th grade when I decided I wanted to be singer. I wrote a song called "OH NO" and talked about how amazing it felt to have a crush on a boy "OH NO" was the ill-est hook I came up with to describe my wowed and amazed feelings of finally being the popular girl, instead of the shy timid girl expressing myself through a crooked smile. The singing part didn't work out so much, but if its one thing I never self consciously gave up on it was the writing. I remember I grew up never being proud of the things I was passionate about. My father raised us, but he never really empowered us to be whatever we wanted to be. He was more focused on getting us through the day, and if we had a meal and laughed through the day that's all that really mattered. I lacked confidence, because I didn't know if it was okay to be proud of the uncommon things I enjoyed.  After I wrote my fir...